Its amazing how structure and disapline play an important part in peoples lives. It determines our character, our inner well being. I wonder time and time again how my life would have been if I had structure as a child. Would I have been a better person, I believe I would. I do know for a fact that I would have never done certian things had I had the watchful care of parents over me. I would have known and seen what was important and what I should do to shape my future. I see this with strong LDS families. The structure that they have given to shape a child in the path which they should go. I respect those families and wish mine could be the same. I respect the children that turn into adults and have great families themselves.
I don't believe or respect the parents who say " oh honey, things will be fine , you turned out ok" or "your doing better than your parents were ar your age" . Or better yet, tell your kids the problems you had growing up. The point in life is to make life better, not to make excuses for the actions that happened You can not EVER take that attitude with children. I don't know how many times my kids have brought up my childhood against me. When they know the bad things that you have done as a child/teenager it is just an excuse for them to do the same. They also look at you differently, with no respect for the parent whatsoever. It just shows you that these parents either, 1) have no respect for you as a parent or 2) need to blame the child for the actions because they were irresponsible parents themselves.
We all go through our trials. Some are not necessary but happen because of the path we chose. Some doors will open and some doors will shut, and shut right in your face and hit your nose. Some paths we can never, ever turn back on. The trials that we have have determined our character. I know for a fact the path I was living at 17-18 would have turned out terrible if Mark and I had not gotten together. He is truely my angel. It has been a long hard road to somewhat get our head above water and no one did it for us. We spent 22 years to get here. Had we had structure and disipline when we were younger maybe it would have only taken us 10 years.
So my point ~ Stucture is necessary without it we will just go through life never achieving anything. Sometimes we don't like the structure but it will shape us and our future will be better than if we had none and if we are doing our best the trials that will come will be small. So both stucture and trials help define who we are and who we become, but how long does it take to be the best you can be is determined by the path you choose.
2 comments:
I like that last line. Very simply put. You are 100% correct about structure and I hope I don't take it too far with my own children, because sometimes I know I do. Life is full of paths and yes, each path has a valuable lesson. Wouldn't it be awful to never learn from your choices? I am grateful for my personal lessons learned and the ones Parents, realitives and children and obviously Jason have helped teach me. They are not always easy but ALWAYS beneficiary.
***sidenote: 22 years!!!! I guess all that lack of structure is what made Mark loose all that hair on his head. Maybe he should have been a little more stern with it:)
Here Here Danna, I agree fully, I am grateful for the structure and rules I had growing up. I may not have alwys liked what my parents told me I was required to do, but I would not have accomplished any of it with out my wonderful parents. Thank you for reminding me that I should tell them that more often!
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